These Are the Top 5 Reasons I Hate Clickbait

Son of a biscuit!

I’m a little upset and I’ll tell you why, but first I have a confession to make: I don’t actually live with any of the conditions I write about on this website (though I do live with a condition).

You might be wondering, What the hell? Or perhaps you’re tempted to shout “Fraud! Imposter!” and a whole list of other things.

Yeah, I get it, but I don’t care. You know why?

Because if only the people afflicted by a condition are allowed to bring attention to it, then progress will happen even more slowly than it does already – and I’m not a fan of that shit.

I also don’t care because I actually try to learn as much as possible about the things I write about before I write about them. And I try to talk to people who DO live with these conditions and understand their points of view. And that brings me to why I’m upset:

While doing research on narcolepsy, I came across 15 things you only know if you have narcolepsy from Metro News UK. Great! I thought. I don’t have narcolepsy so I won’t know these things and now I get to learn. Huzzah!

Then what did I encounter? The same trivial, repetitive bullshit that’s flung all over the Internet. In other words, it was basically a list of symptoms (which I’ve been exposed to more times than I can count) disguised as some sort of brilliant insight.

Let’s take a look at the greatest hits:

  1. Actually having narcolepsy isn’t like the way it’s portrayed in movies.

What the hell?! Movies aren’t realistic? Now I’ll never meet a space pirate.

2. There’s a difference between being sleepy (falling asleep, can’t keep your eyes open) and being tired (a lack of energy).

Ohmygod. Different words have different meanings!

3. Hallucinations that accompany narcolepsy actually aren’t demonic spirits or aliens.

At least I don’t need to worry about running into Freddy Krueger?

4. Narcolepsy cannot be fixed with diet and exercise.

A neurological condition can’t be fixed with fruits and vegetables? Screw you, science.

5. Some people experience all the symptoms of narcolepsy while others only experience some of the symptoms.

We’re all unique snowflakes, guys.

So…yeah. Sometimes I hate the Internet.

James Ernest Cassady

James Ernest Cassady

Though "Ernest" is a family name that's been passed down for generations, James truly earned his middle moniker when, at the age of five, he told his mother that "laughing is stupid unless EVERYBODY is happy." Since then, the serious little bastard has been on a mission to highlight the world's shortcomings (and hopefully correct them). In addition to his volunteer work at hospitals and animal shelters, James also enjoys documentaries and the work of William Faulkner. He is originally from Oklahoma.

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