When You’re Sick of What’s Being Said

It can be hard sometimes for your friends, loved ones, and peers to know what to say when you’re dealing with chronic illness.

“Feel better soon”

Doesn’t really work.

There are some things they really shouldn’t say. You don’t want advice that a friend heard from a friend from their second cousin. You’ve done the research. Hell, you’ve probably educated physicians.

You don’t need anyone telling you that your symptoms aren’t valid or that they’re your fault somehow, because you need more sleep, or more vegetables or more exercise.

Sometime even comments made with the best intentions feel abrasive and the words that would actually help are absent.

Emily McDowell, a designer in LA and lymphoma survivor has dealt with this herself. She had people who cared about her while she was undergoing treatment yet, with the awkward communication between the well and the sick had her feeling incredibly lonely at times.

Now cancer free but still unable to forget such a trying time in her life, Emily has created something wonderful. A line of empathy cards featuring what she wished people would have said while she was sick. The cards are genuine, funny, and heartfelt and are applicable to more than just cancer patients.

One of the cards holds offers to do some of the basic, overlooked things that patients often could use help with. It lists out things like driving you to appointments, helping with housework, and even just keeping you company while watching TV from the sofa.

Another card cheerfully volunteers the sender to punch the next person who tells you “everything happens for a reason” which is just not something you want to hear when you’re suffering(other cards offer more rebuttals to commonly uttered equally annoying phrases) . Another helps the sender admit to not knowing what to say…which is better than distance and silence.

These cards are perfect to send to spoonie friends, or as a friendly suggestion to friends in good health. Read more here and check out the cards here!


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