Have you ever wanted to just take a break from addressing your illness? Like, taking those medical binders and folders and just keeping them in your car trunk for a while and pretending like everything is “normal”?
Well that’s what I’ve been doing for a few months.
I just got tired of talking about my illness history, being told there’s nothing this cardiologist or this infectious disease doctor could do for me. I got tired of making time for appointments, paying crazy doctor’s bills and feeling ashamed that my medical history is so convoluted.
Though my dysautonomia is controlled for the most part by my strict diet, exercise and relatively stress-free lifestyle, I know I’m not living up to my full potential. I could be doing more with my team if I seek and find the right treatment for me.
So in 2017, I am going to abandon my “break” and get back to regular cardiology check-ups… as soon as I find a new one. I’m going to establish a new primary care physician and stay positive along the way.
YES it’s a downer to have to explain everything to new doctors, but it’s time I stop procrastinating.
And, it’s time I show some gratitude that I can even take this mini-doctor vacation. A lot of people with chronic illness can’t do that. So for this spoonie, I thank the higher power for allowing me to just chill for a few months and pretend I feel good.