If there was one song that could get me poppin’ throughout my childhood, it would have to be “Parents Just Don’t Understand” by the Fresh Prince himself.

Come on, you know the chorus:

“To all you kids all across the land, take it from me, parents just don’t understand.”

What kind of person hasn’t felt like that at least once during their teenage years?

Maybe you even feel like that right now.

It happens, especially when you have a chronic illness like PI impacting the family dynamic in all kinds of ways.

But here’s the good part: you can take the wheel from your parents and help keep communication moving in the right direction.

The Immune Deficiency Foundation—a major resource for those living with CVID, SCID, and other PI diseases—offers suggestions for how to adult the hell out of your healthcare and family life.

My favorite ones?

1. Show off your responsible side: take control of your healthcare. Start keeping track of your treatments and symptoms.
2. Find the “fun” in knowing your “fundamentals:” go to an IDF retreat, interrogate your doctors, do what you need to understand what your PI really means.
3. Realize that there’s power in numbers: parents mean well, but siblings can really be your greatest allies. Keep them involved rather than isolated by your condition, and they’ll be your best friends. Trust me.

Nostalgia will always mean I love “Parents Just Don’t Understand,” but getting older, you realize, yeah, parents often don’t understand—the catch is, most of the time, you don’t understand them either.

Your parents are going to make mistakes. So will your siblings.

And you will, too.

So do your part in being open and honest with your family. That’s the only way you all are gonna get it.

Holler if you feel me! Have you ever felt like this? Whether you’re a parent or the “child,” how do you keep your family functioning?