Dear Body,

I thought it was past time for me to write this letter to you. You see, I owe you an apology.

I spend most days considering how you’ve done me wrong. In my estimation, you’ve let me down. You’ve failed me, and it’s all your fault that I’m in the shape I’m in. I truly believe you may hate me.

But lately I’ve realized how hard I am to live with. Really. I mean, I’m completely without compassion or forgiveness when it comes to you. I mercilessly push you to your breaking point every chance I get. You’re left paying the price while I rail against you for how little I can do.

I’d like to call a truce, body of mine. I’d like to kiss and make up. I’d like to ask your forgiveness.

I will do my best from here on, to understand when you have given all you can. I will treat you gently and speak of you kindly. I will be thankful for each ounce of energy you lend me, because I realize what a big push it takes to dig down to even that.

I promise to put you higher on my priority list. I vow to not resent your resting times, and to grant you much more grace on the days when pain overtakes you.

Thank you for breathing, for sleeping, for giving me gentle nudges when you need a break instead of just breaking down. I appreciate every bit of food you help me to swallow and process. I thank you for eyes that can still see, blurry as it may be. I’m grateful for the ability to wrap my arms around my children, and to feel the kisses of my husband.

Sincerely,
Your Person

Shelly Hendricks is a wife and mother of 2 amazing kids. They live the good life in South Louisiana. She is a writer for God’s glory. She also suffers from Intracranial Hypertension and Primary Lateral Sclerosis, among a myriad of other issues mostly stemming from these two. She had brain surgery in 2012, to install a VP Shunt, and had a revision in January 2014. Though her condition continues to deteriorate, her spirit is constantly focused on eternity.

Disability has been hard to deal with, but she depends on God for all strength and hopes to encourage others on this journey, through her writing and her books.

Editor’s Note: Shelly first contributed to Patient Worthy during Invisible Illness Awareness Week 2015. You can check out her introduction here and her books You’re chronically ill so now what? and A Walk in the Valley are available in the Patient Worthy LIBRARY.

Are you living with a condition where avoiding native blue hues from technology gadget screens is a must? There is an App for that! Check out Shelly’s Recommended App: F.Lux – it automatically adjusts the screen lighting.