My journey started abruptly last year. It was a completely normal day—until it wasn’t. I’m an RN, and I slept most of the day before my night shift. I talked to friends, got ready for work, and felt totally fine. Then, once at work and sitting at my computer, all the letters and numbers started floating off the screen. That’s when I knew something was really wrong.

I tried to stand but couldn’t feel my legs. Everything blurred—bright lights, fast movement, voices calling a Code Medic, my newly limp body being raced through the ED. My best friend somehow appeared at my bedside. I remember pain, confusion, my skin feeling raw, and yelling out in pain.

I was admitted for five days—unable to walk, facing endless tests, a continuously delayed lumbar puncture, election night (woof), and doctors insisting it was “just stress.” Well, I’ve been stressed since I was 12, and I’ve had the use of my legs all 36 years, so I really wasn’t buying it. The plan was to discharge to inpatient rehab to relearn to walk. However, I was hellbent on going to my own home. I had just decorated for Christmas, and I’d already missed so many holiday seasons in treatment centers. So on day five, I refused rehab, went home, and began the long road back.

With no firm diagnosis, I faced countless specialists, all the lab work, urine tests, MRIs, etc. I was on a first-name basis with the doctors and pharmacists. Finally, with a skin biopsy and some lab tests, I received the diagnosis of non-length dependent small fiber neuropathy and CIDP. And once the diagnoses started coming, they seemed to never stop. Throughout the course of this year, I’ve acquired 11 diagnoses, had to step away from bedside nursing, and even sell my house and move back to my hometown to be closer to my support system. I’ve been so lucky to have some really great people holding me up through this entire process.

Earlier this year, I had a more permanent central line placed for infusions. I’m really fortunate to have access to some of the best medications and infusions out there. I get five days in a row of five-hour infusions every month that have really helped with the nerve pain. Unfortunately, the fatigue, joint pain, and nausea are pretty persistent.

With all of the diagnoses and health issues, I have felt really down and have been grieving what I lost and what may never be. Walking away from bedside nursing (and becoming the patient) has been tough. I know in my heart I was born to take care of my patients. It was such a meaningful time in my life, and I have felt so much like I have nothing left to offer people anymore. However, I’ve learned that purpose can take many different forms. I am very big on vulnerability and honesty, especially on social media. I’m hoping that being open and vulnerable and sharing the highest highs and lowest lows that come along with chronic illness can allow other people to do the same. I want to use my pain for purpose and be an advocate in the chronic illness community. If I could say one thing to someone who is in the beginning of the diagnosis process, or someone newly diagnosed, it would be this: If something feels wrong in your body, trust yourself. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s “just stress” if you know it’s not. You know your body better than anyone. Be brave enough to speak up, even when the system won’t listen.