Patient Worthy

1 hour ago

Shared with permission by Anne Creed on National Doctors Day.

Stopped Treatment
I was diagnosed with stage 4, metastatic urothelial (bladder) cancer at an NCI Cancer Center in January 2019. I’ve had three surgeries and eight different kinds of treatments. I was in the clinical trial that produced the Padcev/Keytruda treatment (though my combo was Padcev/Cisplatin). My cancer is upper tract. I still have my bladder but only one kidney, which has been a rock star. It’s still 100% normal. I do have a nephrostomy tube.
I’ve had a great run, living to see my daughter graduate from medical school and start her residency, get married and have two precious babies. I felt great and fully embraced life the first six years of treatments followed by breaks. I traveled to Paris three times, got to spend time at my favorite places within a few hours of my home (mainly the beach), and even took up a new hobby, bird photography. Which is a lot more fun than it sounds.
This past year—year seven—has been difficult. I’ve now been on eight different treatments, most of them chemo. My body is tired. My soul knows there is something better.
Last week I met with my oncologist, the same one I’ve seen at the NCI Cancer Center since Day 1 (Dr. Theodore Gourdin at MUSC in Charleston, SC) and he said I’m running out of options. My last scan wasn’t good. He has one more option for me. We discussed it. He also told me that there have been studies that show that people like me who have been on many, many treatments and decide to take another don’t live as long as people who have had tons of treatments and decide to quit chemo.
I have wanted to quit chemo many times in the past year but have held on because my daughter was pregnant with her second child. I have hung on to see my daughter safely through childbirth and to “see” my granddaughter.
I have never felt more relieved than when I told Dr. Gourdin that I wanted to quit treatment. He agreed that it is time. He remarked on how at peace I seemed. I am at peace with this very right decision for me. We have a wonderful relationship.
I told him I’m afraid of suffering. He said they would not let me suffer. We hugged goodbye but the door is open for me to call or see him anytime.
He said I won’t die right away. He wouldn’t guess how long I have. I already feel better being off chemo.
I’m looking into palliative care programs that will segue into hospice when it’s time.
I am a Christian and I know good things await me, including a healed body and an eternity filled with love. And who knows what wonders.
Next week my daughter will come to visit (her residency in a couple of states away) bringing her beautiful family, my grandson I can’t get enough of and my granddaughter I have never met.
I have had a glorious life, though it might not look that way to others. I am grateful for every day I’ve had and have remaining.
Great blessings to all of you, wherever you are on your journeys. Cancer sucks but life doesn’t.
Anne, age 70, SC USA ... See MoreSee Less