10 Signs You Have a Chronic Illness and Are Single AF

Do you ever have those moments where you’re doing something that seems very routine, but then you realize with sudden clarity how much of it is affected by your chronic illness?

I’ve had a couple of those lately. One was becoming supremely irritated by our neighbors having guests over and taking up all of the parking spots in front of our townhouse. Usually, it’s just a mild inconvenience. But when I’m fatigued, have used all my energy to force myself to get groceries, and then have to walk a lot further with them, I get pretty irritated.

That’s just one of those life moments where having a chronic illness really changes how I perceive it.

However, not all of those moments are irritating or negative. Some are actually pretty funny. Like the moment in the shower when I realized that only reason I was shaving my legs was because I was seeing the doctor the next morning.

That’s how you know you’re A. single and B. have a chronic illness.

So, that got me thinking (a dangerous pastime, I know). What other tell-tale signs are there that you have a chronic illness AND are single?

  1. Your closest relationship is with your body pillow. Bonus points if you found a way to make it heated!
    james franco
    Yeah…who’s in love with a body pillow?! *whistles and avoids eye contact* Source: giphy.com
  2. The first time you bring a guy or girl up to your room, all they can do is stare at your medical chest.
    will i am
    It’s a stare that so clearly says, “How the F is this even possible?!” Source: giphy.com
  3. Instead of Netflix and Chill, you prefer Netflix and Roast which includes you and your heating pad.
    the heat
    And your cat, of course. Now it’s a party! Source: giphy.com
  4. Taking shots at night has a whole different meaning.
    South Park eric cartman injection dont do it! gassy on purpose
    If only super-bad farts were the only side effect… Source: giphy.com
  5. Dinner and a movie involves delivery, your couch, and the newest addition on Hulu.
    television fox the mindy project mindy kaling mindy lahiri
    Because some days, the best remedy IS cookie dough. Source: giphy.com
  6. You’ve learned that medicine hangovers are worse than normal hangovers, but the combo of the two is literal Hell.
    Me, addressing both types of hangovers. Source: giphy.com
  7. Cuffing Season means you and Jon Snow can finally become official.
    game of thrones jon snow kit harington pick up line
    Exactly, we’re a perfect match! Source: giphy.com
  8. You give no f*cks when it comes to your appearance meeting new people; they should be happy you’re even out of bed.
    broad city
    You are a confident bamf. You don’t need to impress anyone. Your presence is enough. Source: giphy.com
  9. Your requirements for a potential partner now include a stable career with good health insurance.
    broad city hannibal buress broadcityedit minebroadcity lincoln rice
    I get why Illana and Lincoln didn’t work out, but damn that sweet, sweet healthcare. Source: giphy.com
  10. You’ve got this self-care thing down pat. You don’t need no man!
    Refinery 29 GIFs gay race depression lesbian
    Couldn’t have said it better myself! Preach, sister, preach! Source: giphy.com

Farrah Fontaine

Farrah Fontaine

As a child, Farrah Fontaine always knew she wasn't normal. Part of her family descends from the ancient Silk Road, which made her stand out in the Great White North. That's why she wants to give voice to the voiceless so they know they're not alone.

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